i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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