oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
