i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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