I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
