This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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