Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
