I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
