We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
