we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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