dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
