i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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