Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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