Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
