I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
