I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
