I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
