The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I want to fling myself into the sun
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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