We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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