We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
