My first STD was from a foam party
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
