Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
