Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize