Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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