so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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