What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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