he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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