How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
