he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
