I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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