I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this beer tastes like vomit already
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I believe in your delicious
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize