Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
