Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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