He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
