trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
