We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize