Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
