There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
