Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
