So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
