In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
