So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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