Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
