i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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