i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
