i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
