if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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