so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
