Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
