He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
