people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
