the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
sex in a hospital.. check
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
