she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
