He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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