see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's shark week go big or go home
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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