I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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