I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
