You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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