jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
