But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You made out with two different species that night
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize