The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Welp...herpes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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