I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize