I'm laying in your front yard are you home
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He has the fingertips of a God
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
