Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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