There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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